...which is equal to that of my Pandora book, but hey...who cares. Words are words are words... Unfortunately I keep a better record with LJ than both Pandora Book (aka my actual/the common journal) and writing journal. THAT SAID, I'm lazy, so I'm just going to type up what I've written in the latter. :>

~~~

Hullo WJ...remember me? Well yeah--no surprise. I've been a literary bum since, when? (Currently backtracking) Er...yeah, since November of LAST YEAR? Smooth, Nica. Smooth. And this poor book is still missing its other half. Oh how naked it feels... Well lo and behold, my pen's out and ready! Of course, there be ulterior motives. Among them is me trying to bleed this pen dry. Notice how the ink [conveniently] fades as I continue. My hand's heart is breaking at this moment. How often did it cramp in battle with said pen?

(Post Vertebrate Zoology lecture class)
Welp, I'm here in the library...supposedly chiling, getting down with a book, and just waiting for the lab. Supposedly. Instead I'm here at the far end of a table, listening to the drilling of the construction workers nearby. Curses. I forget the progress of Wesleyan's Library extension, at least how noisy it can be. I'm thinking of abandoning my current post in favor of Writing Lab, regardless of limited seating and (verb + expression) with (pronoun). Or maybe not--over the mp3 player, the drilling ceased. Yay! Maybe there's hope!

...U really miss talking to Qasim and swapping stories. Even the high-adrenaline rush of "editting" his works. Well, no--NOT hardcore editting per se, but giving feedback.

I royally suck.

I'm well-aware that I get uber nervous about it. Badly enough that my comments are vague, and sometimes dusted with thick sugar smothered with thick syrup. I'm surprised that he'd still bother to ask. Nowadays, though...our chats be brief. I'm becoming a different sort of recluse, ugh... Haven't had a real connection with new people, and it's hurting some of my creative flow.

I'm not as enthused as before.

...I'm bored, minus the drawing...and this Honors Project? Yeagh. Mental words of "Don't. Want" flash. Like the seatbelt signs in airplanes whenever turbulance jostle passengers. Hm...jostle... Not sure if that's the correct use of the word (or if it's even the correct word). Eck, my neck is getting stiff.

Should've prepared myself better, bleh... Keep getting surprised over assignments. It's my fourth year and I'm still caught unawares! Suckeths! Genetics is interesting though its writing assignments make me cringe.

Huh, a gust...and cologne. Interesting.

I'm finding Neuro/Sazazuka (?)figures lately. Not cool. Then there's the boy who'd flit across my mind, a figure at the buffet, ahaha........... I'm curious. All I got was a glimpse of short dark hair, tanned skin...average build. And a penchant for black clothes.

I didn't [want to] linger on his features.

It's not the first time I saw him at the restaurant, either. No, the first time I saw him, he was at the table beside us, separated by those wooden, section-dividers. I thought him "cool"--his stylish, razored/clipped cut... The dark frames of glasses. And yes...a small bow of the head and I'd see a glint of silver on his ear. Not bad looking either.

Any further assumptions or any interest I crushed under a mental fist. 'Sides, my attention towards him became a nuisance, and from him eating with a friend, I wondered. "With my luck, he'd be homosexual, so no go." And so, I turned away and paid attention to the Unagi/eel sushi on my plate. My second encounter with the guy didn't leave me, though. Instead, the younger sister and mother double-team caught on. At this point, allow me to state that it was NOT my doing. Seriously. I had no clue. All I remember was making rounds, getting some dumplings...and passing by two guys. Then hanging out with the younger sister as we discussed tonight's choice of ice cream for later (oooh, strawberry, whoo). Or, wait--probably me recounting events that took place in class...

In any case, we returned to our table, and my mom grinned. Crap. Alarms went off, so I pointedly dug into my rice. Then the whispering commenced.

"...He was looking at her." My Mom gloated, which bugged me. I'll never understand a mother's pride, at least not yet.

When I do, I hope I'm more sensible about it... But there it was, Mother's pride that insists that her daughter attracted a male. Awesome.

"Nah-uh...who?" Vethea leaned forward in her seat with a conspirative whisper.

"That guy..." At this point, it'd be a wrong move for me to NOT look with Vethea--that was a major indicator of what I'd know. So we craned our necks, looking into the inner recesses of the restaurant, and hello. It's that guy. Embarrassment began to creep down my back, tensing my shoulders before I averted my gaze. Then my face burned as realization hit me. Back to food. Now. Please. My Mom squealed with both excitement and triumph, my sister joining in.

Pop had to join in (though I'm not sure if it was on purpose or not) with "Wow, your face is red... You okay?"

My hands clapped to my face as I fumbled. Then I went back to food, fork in hand.

"Nothing to it," I muttered. "People have eyes, they glance... Nothing else. Just moving targets and all."

"Think so?" My mother smiled, but shrugged as she finally returned to her food. I kept quiet throughout the rest of the evening, determined to stay away from that uncomfortable tidbit. The rest of the meal went without much discourse. Then came the end, where Pop stood up, gathering his coat. Earlier he paid the bill, so we could just walk out. I took the last sip of sweet tea when Mom waved me off.

"Go on, Nica... We'll follow."

I didn't catch on as I quirked a brow at her. "You're still eating?"

I felt an atmosphere gather around me--electrical--especially when Vethea tried to suppress impatience. Then again--

"--Just go!" both my Mom and sister ordered, and I stalked off, fuming. Minutes passed before I heard footfalls behind me with giggling in between.

"He looked, he looked!" My mom chimed, Vethea snickering. "He looked up when Nica passed by!" I felt my face burn up again until we went out into the cold night.

"He just happened to look up! Coincidence!" I huffed.

"That's some coincidence..." Vethea retorted as I glared back at her.

That was last year or so. Afterwards we never got a chance to go back to that restaurant what with Mom and Vethea moving off to Chapel Hill. I didn't see that guy anywhere else either...though I wondered if I passed by his ghost; I passed by some look-alikes at our local mall, but the real man remains a mystery to me.

If I do see him again, I'll be sure to imprint his face to mind...

...Just in case.